Costa Rica Expat Profile: Being Grateful Every Day

Today’s Costa Rica expat profile features Mike and Jackie. Their story is unique because they each had older children from previous marriages. All four children decided not to make the move to abroad with their parents. In this interview we talk about the usual ‘why’ and ‘how’ of the move, but we also delve into how the kids feel and how this move has affected family relationships and dynamics.

Scroll through to the end to read what Katelyn, Mike’s daughter, had to say about her dad’s move.

I am so happy to have you share your life with us! Can you start by introducing yourself and giving readers a little background about why you chose to live abroad, away from your native country?

I am Jackie. My fiancé, Mike, and I are both from Massachusetts. Before we thought about moving here to Tamarindo, Mike was a personal trainer and I, Jackie, worked in marketing, and am a certified yoga instructor and reiki practitioner. We met in late 2012, and just a month later Mike was diagnosed with kidney cancer. I was with him through the diagnosis, treatment and recovery.

Mike’s illness taught us about the precariousness of life and convinced us that we needed to move forward with our dreams of living in Costa Rica.

A year and a few months later, we made the move, feeling that our young adult children (ages 21 through 24) were independent and thriving. We opened a wellness center in Tamarindo where we help others to live a healthier, more balanced life.

What did your family and friends say when you moved abroad? Did you offer your kids the opportunity to come along with you?

We get a couple of typical responses when we tell people we have moved: “Wow, I want your life.” “You guys are so brave!!” Most of our friends and family have been very supportive. Many have come to visit and immediately see why we decided to make the move.

My 24 year old son was very unhappy initially about my decision to move. “Moms aren’t supposed to leave!” he said. He felt I was abandoning him. I can honestly understand his feelings, as he was still adjusting to his parents’ divorce and the changes that resulted from that.

Although he was resistant for the first six months, once he came to visit, and witnessed first hand the lifestyle we were living, he really warmed up to the move. It also didn’t hurt that he came down with Mike’s 22 year old son, and they really got to experience the Tamarindo nightlife. His late night escapades, as well as zip lining, a sunset cruise, trying his hand at surfing……the overall experience was what Brad needed to accept our decision to move to Costa Rica.

I’ve found he has a wonderful business sense and I often call him to discuss business ideas to get his input. It has brought us much closer.

On the other hand, my daughter is distraught that we left: She was originally delighted that I was planning to move abroad. She couldn’t wait to “escape” with me. Having spent time in Ecuador during her junior year of high school, she embraced multicultural experiences and speaks Spanish. But things changed the night before I was to leave, and she expressed her sense of abandonment (even though I am closer to her – she lives in Miami – than I was in the Boston area).

Six months after our move, she stopped talking to me altogether. I am hopeful time will heal our rift, but her “punishment” will not make me alter the course I have set out for myself.

Mike’s two children are happy for him and have happily come to visit.

From my experience moving to a new place has a ‘fairy tale’ quality on arrival. Was that the case for you and when you moved here?

Mike and I were instantly smitten with our new life. It was all so new, and different, and WARM! We were getting our Wellness Center up and running and everyday presented a new challenge, a new opportunity, to thrive.

We both settled quite easily into living here. What helped immensely was the love we felt for each other. I must admit, it was quite a transition for me to go from each of us living in a 3000 square foot house in different towns, with luxury cars in the garage, to living in a two-bedroom condo, with only beach bikes as transportation. And, we were WORKING together! We are still ironing out some of the details but after some trial and error, and intense debates, we are settling in to a system that works for both of us.

Do you feel like you will stay in Tamarindo long-term?

We signed a three-year lease on our business so we are definitely here for that period of time. We know it takes a lot to get a new business off the ground and build a reputation so we are committed to staying the course. We plan to check back in continually, with ourselves and each other, to make sure we are both still pleased with where we are.

I can’t say what we’ll do next, but we both have a love of travel. I still own an oceanfront house that I rent out in a town south of Boston, so we’ll have that connection to the States (along with our children and families) forever!

Can you explain how you handle residency and working where you are now?

For the most part, we are grateful for the paradise in which we live and the chance to live a life that most people envy. I don’t want to pretend there aren’t issues and challenges living and working in Costa Rica and there are many things I miss about our life in the States.

Mike is the most positive person I’ve ever met, so he gets me through the periods of uncertainty. It does take some getting used to the busyness of high season and the eerily quiet and financial stresses of low season.

It is such a treat to get up every day, roll out of bed, throw on a pair of shorts and flip flops and walk the dog! Early mornings are such a special time, as the day starts in quiet and calm. Usually it’s just Mike, Colbie and I, and an occasional troupe of monkeys, sharing the peace and serenity of the morning.

Another beautiful aspect of our life here is the opportunity to deal with people everyday that are happy!! The people who come into Revive Wellness Center are mostly tourists on vacation, thrilled to be away from the bitter cold of home.

When I first moved here, I was stuck in the stressful, impatient mindset of living in the Northeast. I would silently scream inside when there was a long line at the supermarket or the bank, or when people would chat in the middle of the street, oblivious to others around them. “What is wrong with these people?? I would fume to myself. “I have things to do!!”

Fast forward a year, and now I’ve come to believe, in the grand scheme of things, there’s no rush. I’ve found a new sense of patience. Things don’t upend me quite so much anymore. And I have weaned myself off of anti-anxiety pills to help me sleep!

I think the last aspect I would like to touch on is my thankfulness for being able to teach yoga in our beautiful studio. What a gift to myself to be able to verbalize and recognize my daily intention and share practice in a mindful way with appreciative, like-minded yogis.

Note: Non-residents and temporary residents can own businesses and work to manage them, but must hire Costa Ricans to do any job that does not require special training. This is how Jackie and Mike run their business.

Can you compare family life in your home country to family where you live now? How do you stay in touch with your children?

Naturally, our kids were a lot more accessible when we lived in the States. Sometimes I am overcome missing familiarity of life back home with the kids. However, our time together is that much more special when they visit here or we are back visiting them. We stay in touch regularly through texts, weekly phone calls and emails, and, of course, our regularly scheduled visits.

Our children are adults now, following their own journey with their friends, busy lives and careers or schoolwork so I think they appreciate the time we have together too.

What do we wish you did differently in planning?

We didn’t really have a chance to plan!! It all came together within a month. I like being spontaneous and doing new things and that’s just what we did.

Is there anything you wish you brought with you from home that you don’t have?

A lifetime supply of chocolate. Good wine. Reasonably priced beauty products.

My credit card spending has drastically decreased since I moved here, which is a good thing – a great thing, actually since I used to be an online shopaholic! Moving to Costa Rica has been like a shopping detox program for me.

We’ve discovered most of the “stuff” we accumulated back home, we really don’t “need” and can live without just fine. Do I crave it sometimes? Absolutely, but “stuff” no longer defines me.

But I do miss some things:

I miss going to the movie theatre, getting popcorn and watching English new releases. I miss comfort food, strong cocktails, waiters who check on your regularly throughout your meal and don’t disappear when you’re ready for the bill. I tense up when I see the policia while driving when I KNOW I’m not doing anything wrong. I miss my girlfriends from home, live music and live theatre in a thriving metropolis, and really good pizza.

How are your language skills? Does that make a difference to your life?

My non-existent Spanish skills are an embarrassment. I’ve been here for over a year! It’s a goal of ours to learn and be able to converse in Spanish. It’s definitely been difficult not being fluent in Spanish in our business; I hate having to rely on others to translate.

Do you have anything more that you would like to share with my readers? They would love to hear your stories and your insights.

I cherish this opportunity of a lifetime, the many good friends we have made, the sense of community. I appreciate the differentness, the chance to put things in perspective as far as what is truly important, and the ability to experience things with an open mind.

Here’s what 24-year-old Katelyn has to say about her dad and Jackie’s move to Costa Rica. 

Katelyn, what was your initial reaction when your dad and Jax told you they were moving?

I was actually really excited for my dad when he told me he was moving to Costa Rica. He has always wanted to move away from Massachusetts because of the cold winters, but he was not going to take my brother and myself away from our friends and family. Since, my brother and I are out of the house now, he had the opportunity to follow his dream.

My brother is finishing up college and I have a job as a high school math teacher. Our mom is local so we still have family around. I really encouraged him to take this opportunity to try something new. He deserved to be happy living in a warm location after suffering through the Boston climate, especially after he just beat cancer.

Life is short so now is the time to enjoy it. Plus I now would have an amazing location to visit on my vacations.